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Close your heart

The first ten words that came to mind were: Pick a battle close to your heart and fight it. Totally off the top of my head. I swear.

So by the haphazard musings of my mind I’ve come to write about how sometimes it is a form of solace when you no longer care about things, as morbid and depressing as that may sound. Because the truth can be sad and hard hitting. In this case it is an amalgamation of both.

In my senior year of high school, I had to take a few months off and missed a few mock papers in preparation for finals. I’m still not entirely sure what happened to me but what I do know is this. I was suffering from depression possibly brought on by the excessive pressure I was facing in school. I always get good grades and yet I never believe I will do well while everyone around me says I would definitely ace it. I just want to scream at people that I don’t always have it all figured out and that maybe their expectations are in fact way too high.

So essentially the few months I took off from school were filled with highs and lows. Initially it went from bad to worse before it got better. To be honest, I just took my mind off everything waiting for me back at school and focused on the good things in life. Because I came to realise that it is never as bad as it may seem. I just needed  to alter my perfectionist mind set. Normally I’m not one to appreciate the great outdoors since my primary occupation is that of a couch potato (I’m actually due for a promotion any day now 😉 but during my ‘break’ I used to just sit in the balcony, soak up the sun and just breathe in the fresh air, go for walks and sort of re orient how I saw myself. I realized I was so much more than a straight A student even though everyone else may see me as just that. I had to stop defining myself on other people’s terms and instead on my own.

So sometimes closing off can be a good thing, life changing in fact. Don’t always take things too seriously. Close your heart sometimes until you are truly ready to open it again. To open it to the right things.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/17/daily-prompt-haphazard/

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WITHIN THE WITHOUT

ImageBeyond the cyber world is another world. It’s dangerous, beautiful, exciting and scary. The only difference between the two is that the latter is REAL.

Without a computer life seems bleak but in fact it can be the exact opposite. From a netizen to a real life citizen, the view from your window showing you that world is in your reach. The computer has been the dividing wall.

On my flight I saw the sun rise and decided to capture the moment. That’s where the photos come from.Image

 So take a glance around you because once you do, you will find yourself thinking…

WITHOUT looks pretty damn good.

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The Dedicated Order

Afore written letters of love

Bestow upon my heart, instill

Circadian rhythm of joy until

Doomed it comes full circle again

Existential remnants of threaded thought

Forge their way into my restless mind

Granting me the allowance to leave behind

His pestilent lingering hold on me

Infinite pockets my soul can fill

Juxtaposed amongst pennies of pain

Knell like sound as they chorus

Like coins of small, petty change

Mercy illuminates the kindred spirits

Nullifying the egregious slashes

Often worn by unsuspecting masses

Perhaps we’ll learn to love again

Quintessential cure to the common heart ache

Romance is consumption and consumption in turn

Signifies the nearing of an end, the time to learn

To learn the right way to love, to love the right

Upscale your feelings to love what is beneficiary

Vocabulary of love is embedded in literature

Written by those who cannot express

Xeroxed from their experience

Your love is beautiful though others cannot see

Zig-zagging to others in perfect disharmony